You may know your trauma responses. You may be aware of how the body protects itself by numbing when emotions get too heavy. Or how our mind distances us from our circumstances when we feel too much, be it a sadness, a death, or even too much joy.
I recently had the opportunity to do something I've wanted to do my whole life: drive the Alaska Highway. Even as we packed the car and camper, it felt surreal. Despite nearly a year of planning and preparing, when we were pulling out of our driveway, I felt unable to connect. I felt like a spectator, watching it happen to someone else.
I noticed this most when we stood on the shores of the Arctic Ocean. As I gazed over the rolling sea, I felt out of body. This couldn't be happening, my mind said. This is beyond what you are capable of. I stood there, watching the horizon, knowing we had made it despite the challenges of the Dempster Highway. You are standing on the edge of the North American continent, I told myself. It's real.
I share this so you know this is a normal part of our healing. It means that there is still some trauma inside of me, afraid to experience it physically lest I open up and get hurt. You most likely are affected too. I share so you know that it doesn't keep us from healing.
